


Come & Find Me (At Jakku)

by jakkunobody



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, last jedi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23408398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jakkunobody/pseuds/jakkunobody
Summary: He looks at her a certain way now. When their fingertips brushed and they saw each other’s future-- or was it all fake?--, something clicked. She was always looking for something, someone in many people who she has met. What is it? People tell her that they know her. They must know somebody she isn’t. He believes to know her. But when she closed the door, seeing his eyes and face on his knees--she has seen him like that before when they first met--, she thought that was the end. The end of something now broken yet she still feels...him when she’s so far away.She ran away again. When he lost sight of her, he felt her drift away. But she didn’t go too far. He sensed something in her and in himself. He couldn’t deny that he was drawn and going after something out of his control. He thought he had a control on his expressions, he hid them well, so well. She bought them out, one by one and now he is laid bare, unguarded in front of her. Yet there is one more wall held in front of them and he wants to take it down one brick at a time.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Lost In Thought

Asking for a pitstop-- a quiet moment to herself before she plays her part in all of this--, she exits the ship and waves for them, telling them to pick her up once the resistance finds a base to regroup for now. Her mind is still swirling with images of events moments before stepping into the sand of Jakku. She shoulder her bag and staff higher on her shoulder. The contents of the bag hit her back and she thinks of how to fix it--the lightsaber. How to fix something they tore apart? Her hand clenched into a fist, still feeling the pull from him and-- the new found or always been there-- force in herself as she treks to her home. Is it home still? She hasn’t been here for awhile.

The sun is low in the sky, sending an orange warmth over the sand. She sits down, leaning against the ruins of a past that meant her whole life. As a child, she lived alone. She lived to see them again. She called for them to come back to be with her but they never answered back. Yet she waited. She waited so long for their non-existent call. Nobody would call out if she could now. Yet, now her life is different. She has met people, a great family type of people. Could she call them family?

Sitting in the sand away from them, she chooses to what? Think about him. 

She rubs her neck and arms, feeling a sting close to her shoulder. She gazes down at it and remembers the fight in the throne room. It must be already filled. The seat must be his now. 

Then she only sees his hand. It didn’t look like the same hand she shared a bond with on that island. She spoke so openly to him about her feelings of loneliness...he told her things that gave her a million thoughts of their ending--a potential life where she wasn’t alone and she wanted to accept it. Accept the same hand she thought he only possessed. He holds too many cards, showing her different ones every time and one did appeal to her and she believed it yet now she seen others... He told her she is holding on. Am I? 

She sighs, exhaustion settling into her bones, heavy on her eyelids, telling her to choose to rest. She drags herself in and falls on her bed, wishing for something she can’t quite control. 

\---

Once the golden chained cubes disappear from his hand, he slowly stands up and walks out of that hole. His men didn’t speak and even the stern-faced Hux held his tongue from the expression of his face. His eyes were two canvases where the artist painted all the colors of his palette messily with a brush. They didn’t stop when he ordered for the ship to take off and leave behind the red salty mess. His teeth grit and shift, reimagining what happened.. 

The fight with the red soldiers and the death of him. The tether was cut right through the torso and he never felt more relieved and free. Free from what? He can’t quite identify. When everything felt in place, falling into his plan, she didn’t accept it. She didn’t like the idea of his. He held out his hand before and he felt it like she did. When he did it again, why didn’t she do the same? It boggled his mind and he wondered if she could hear him. Can they still hear, see each other? He still feels her in some way. Is it like a residual to his influence? 

When the ship connected to the main one, he left his orders as he headed for his quarters. His weapon attached to his hip had a weight to it now. He thought he would kill him today. Kill off the last jedi by his own hand. He pulled off his saber and looked at it. He remembers how it cut through the air and didn’t leave a mark on his former master. But it did once for someone...the lightsaber returns to his hip and he turns on a sink to wash his face. 

His hands card through his back hair and water drips down his temples. He looks up at his reflection and sees that scar. He earned that one squarely from somebody so untrained and so much on his mind. He told her he could teach, he told her he was there, he told her to join him. He has said so much. His face says that much. He glances over to what held his expressions in the dark, away from eyes who could read it in seconds or think they know what he is feeling. 

When he broke it into pieces, he broke it in anger. Called out for immaturity. He thought it gave him presence and power and authority to make him stronger, yet it was shattered like glass on pavement. When the mask and doing whatever to finish what he started didn’t exceed his expectations, it bought something else. A cut tether and another string to tie himself to.

It bought something else that draws him now to fix the mask and.... To look for her.

\---

She doesn’t feel it at first. Like a dream fluttering into her consciousness and instead of leaving, this one stayed. And she felt it clear as day. Trying to ignore it like a bad dream, she turns over. Then she shivers. 

“Rey.”


	2. Reaching Out

He sits on his bed with his eyes closed. He hesitated to do so because it reminded him so much of his lessons. Of his past self who was weak and...He squeezes his eyes harder with his hands on his lap. He handled the rest of his new occupation for the night with a tight ease, walking a thin thread that grew more as people followed his orders.. People on the ship heard of the news of their dead supreme leader and of their new replacement, the one they weren’t surprised about. 

Dressed down to his sleepwear, he sat on his bed, straight as a toothpick and thought to search for her. His forehead wrinkled and he reached out the best he could with the anger that boiled under his skin. There is a connection. A faint one and it was barely in his grasp, slipping through his fingers every time he came close. His lips form a single word in hopes of bridging the gap. 

“Rey.”

With emotions rising, she fought back like the first time he tried to read her mind. She won again this time when his presence faded. If he tries again...She sits up on her bed and crosses her legs. With her hands in her lap, she mentally builds a wall or something to keep him from trying. Yet her emotions are caught in between the cracks and they widen a bit making crevices. She trembles with fear and anger until she hears her name again and she can’t hold back her outburst. 

“Go away!” 

Like a rush of wind, he sways back and his eyes pop open, severing his concentration. She is there. He can confirm it. His stubbornness told him he should try again but something in the tone of her voice cut him so thin. So small at the back of his head. It was the same tone as when she called him a liar, a snake, a monster--something he knew he was rightly so. 

Her shoulders slump from relief, knowing he is gone for now and falls back on her bed, slipping into a dream of sorts.

Her eyes pop open and sunlight is streaming in through the small crevices of the rocks that made up the small house. She sits up and looks around: she’s back on that island. She feels the same strangeness of her surroundings and all of the noise halt and her ears ring and tingle, knowing what’s coming next. Like somebody--always felt like somebody did it--tune out the static, she sees him, sitting like she is. In her mind, she is seeing this again like a movie and she can’t stop her hand from grasping the chilling gun and turning it on so quick and easy then taking aim at the sight of him. 

He jerks awake in a cold sweat and his hair falling in front of his face like he felt the impact of the shot on his chest...again.. A dream of that time. He wipes above his mouth and his forehead as he gets out of bed, pouring himself a glass of water. He sits at the counter, remembering the first time they had a force bond. There was no blood where he thought would be and he looked back at her, not believing one bit of it. Barely understanding what was happening and how it could happen. He swallows the last drop of water and slips back into bed. 

Her eyes turn misty seeing Skywalker again when she runs out of the door. There is a pinch in her chest and he was a teacher of three lessons and they were enough yet there was a part of her that wanted him to stay longer to help him turn back to the light side. To return back to his origins. She knew he had light in him rightly so. He was born of two lights. A brighter light then she had. A pauper’s grave is so very dark. 

Then a rush of water hit her face like she was falling into it. Crawling out of the water and standing to meet the mirror cave, she doesn’t want to look again. She opens her eyes again and she is back on Jakku with sweat on her brow. She doesn’t sleep after that. 

He is sitting across from her. Her tears are shining on her cheeks from the fire between them. He can’t stop staring as she talks. She explains every detail he knows for sure. She holds nothing back. She has always been blunt. 

She also thought she knew his story, but she didn’t and when she learned, he didn’t know what to say about it. Should he be glad that she knows the truth about him and his uncle and what happened that night? Does her knowing the truth help him somehow? 

“I’ve never felt so alone.”

“You’re not alone.” 

Their eyes met then. “Either are you.” Before their fingertips touch, he is pulled back. Her tears are far from his sight and he turns around to see them again with trembling lips. 

“Why did you hate your father?” He hears how upset she is in the next words--that anger she always had in her since that time in the forest-- and his line follows them. She asks again.. “Why did you kill him?” A tear slips down her face. He has seen her cry twice. Then once more in that throne room.

Then he is tugged again and he sees the ceiling of his quarters with his eyes still seeing her face, so torn, so contorted in emotions. Has his face done the same? How he wishes to....he turns over and tries to go back to sleep without any more of those dreams.

\---

The sun rises up and Rey is up before it with her feet in the sand and walking to nowhere special. In the distance, she sees the market where her life depended on it. She had a call from Finn about their whereabouts and she told him she needed more time, another day and he didn’t complain or ask any questions. He had a sense that she needed this. He explained more of their new base and told her she could train there easily. She said she looks forward to getting back to training, to the others. 

In her chest, she felt like she needed to be with the others. It was just one day with an orange droid that she gained people to her lonely circle and met someone who kept her up last night. She yawns as she walks back to her place to make something to eat and to look over her lightsaber. 

Pulling it out piece by piece, she studies it. She grabs out a book and does some research, distracting herself easily. Giving her mind another objective. Fix something broken. With the lightsaber in better shape, her head hits her folded arms on the top of the workbench.

Without her knowing, the noise around her goes out like a switch and he doesn’t say anything. He sways on the line he tightropes on as he sees her, asleep. She is faint, blurry on the edges, not quite focused but he is still through to her. 

He doesn’t see her face and she doesn’t stir as he steps forward. He reaches out to tap her shoulder or something, but she turns her head towards him. A strand of hair falls over her closed eyes and she breathes out. He pulls back and takes a long look then he steps away, fading away as she slowly opens her eyes. 

She rubs her eyes and sits up, stretching her arms up and looking around. She didn’t dream and she feels better from getting some rest. She looks at her lightsaber and turns it on. Waving it around then turning it off. She remembers when she first held it. It scared her with a vision. In that vision, she saw him. That was his first card in his deck. She wishes to understand why as much as she wants to turn away, be cut off forever from him. She places the lightsaber down and sits cross legged on the floor and reaches out to the force, to...

“Ben.”


	3. Sunset

“Ren.” 

He looks back at General Hux who fumes with an emotion behind his eyes. He sensed it when he saw Hux in the throne room with their supreme leader in pieces. “Ren,” General Hux repeats. “Is there something wrong?” General Hux stands too straight and looks on edge, ready to jump in head first into a wall as he waits for an answer. 

Taking his eyes off, ignoring the call in his mind--did he hear her or was it just a flint of his imagination?--, he asks for reports and General Hux gives him a heavy sigh. They walk down the hallway then he hears it again. 

He turns towards it, halting his steps. General Hux opens his mouth but a gloved hand stops him then waves him away. “Find out where the rebels went and get back to me on their coordinates.”

Ready to find out if his instincts are true, General Hux pipes up a question. “How about my men and more ships for the next attack once we find them?”

“Figure it out yourself, General. I’m sure you have plans for yourself as well.”

“Ren. You can’t do whatever you want-” 

“General. Return to your post.” The choking doesn’t stop until he is around the corner and it leaves General Hux fluming and rubbing his throat then adjusting his collar. 

Once in his quarters, he listens again. But there’s nothing. He clenches his hands and tries to reach out this time but he hits the wall from before. He remembers how he was able to see her minutes ago. Her brown hair. Her tired shoulders. Something clicks as he thinks about how her clothes had a layer of sand on them, especially her shoes. 

“She must be there.” He runs out and sees two of his men. “Get my ship ready.” Their eyes are wide. “Now.”

\---

She sits, confused that she can’t reach him. She thought if she called out, he would be there in a instant. She was mentally preparing herself to see him and to get a grip on her emotions and mentally write a script in her head. If she didn’t get a good answer, she could kick him out...could she? 

She grabs her lightsaber and heads outside to train a little. She swings it around a couple of times. Then stops to look out to the sand and to think of her parents. She knows they were nobodies. She knows Snoke couldn’t have made up everything she and he has shared between them. She knows she would have taken the bait. Why did he show himself to her? Why is she so special? 

She turns off the lightsaber and remembers the vision she had. She saw him in the rain then the snow. He saw her. He surely did. They were connected from the beginning and she didn’t realize it since she felt so...

She faces the settling sun and reaches out again. She sees him, walking towards her in the far distance and she hopes the connection becomes clearer if it reaches him. He draws closer and before her lips form his name, he looks at her. 

“I’m surprised.” She hears his voice loud in her ears. 

“Only because I need...closure. Confirmation..”

“Everything could be easier for you.”

“I can’t-”

“You won’t, but,” He leans forward and she could sense him much stronger now. “You wanted to. Right now, you’re fighting with me.”

“Violence. You are driven by it since I’ve met you.”

“For you, it's been sadness. You always looked so...”

“You actually haven’t changed.”

“And you are still the same girl from Jakku.”

“Why do you live like this?” She swallows. “Why can’t you-”

“Stop? I have my wants and needs..”

“You wanted to kill the last jedi and you did. What’s next?”

“Someone by my side. You said you were alone-”

“Yes. But it’s not right to use that against me. I deserve to choose who.”

“Yet you are here. Nowhere. Talking to somebody you ran away from.”

“For good reasons.” 

“Rey.” His hand reaches out and she looks away. 

“Enough with that.” She tries to break the connection, walking away, wishing for him to fade away. A solid hand grabs her wrist and she jumps, turning back around. She pulls her arm out of his grip as she stumbles back. Blue light cuts between them with her wide eyes. “You’re here. Physically. How-”

“You called and now...” His grin is small as he raises his hands, empty and his lightsaber still at his hip. “I’m here.”


End file.
